There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
