dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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