Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
