Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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