drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
