I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
