i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
