Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?