Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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