Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize