I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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