This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize