I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
