i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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