Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
