They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
