can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
