Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
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I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
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It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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