I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Semen is not good for contacts.
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Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
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He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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