Christians are straight up FREAKS
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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