Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
