well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm getting married
To pizza
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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