Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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