Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
