I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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