His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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