Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
