If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
