a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm like, not good at living.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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