The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We left an ass print on the piano.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
