you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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