But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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