Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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