i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
