My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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