Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
