Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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