What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
