fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
