Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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