Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
