i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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