hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
