Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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