I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Come see our sink grown plant.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
