you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
