im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
