so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
