at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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