The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
