She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
