what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
