So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
