Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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