do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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