New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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