We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor