we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
