Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
