This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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