He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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